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Global Warming Pimple Plague

Warning from Top Skin Doctor

A few years ago a single case of bubonic plague in southern California, where else, was blamed on El Niño.

This year’s bone-thin seals on the California coast are due to El Niño.

In the early 1980s, El Niño was the casual scapegoat of choice for every interest group. Now Global Warming has pushed El Niño aside as the explanation of choice for every bio-wrong that had the misfortune of happening in an El Niño year.

One of our Vice Presidential candidates [no names please], writing in the Forum section of the July/August 1992 issue of National Parks magazine, says that the rabbits in southern Chile are at risk because they are easy to catch because they are "sight impaired" due to the ozone hole!

Leave it to the Veep candidates to have slip-of-the-tongue problems. Readers should search CED for the skinny on blind sheep in the Chile. It seems that politicians will repeat anything a scientist or pseudo-scientist might mouth.

That brings us to this little item on predicted global warming pimple plague. Dr. Evan Mueller at the Institute of Dermatological Research in Geneva, Switzerland notes "these higher temperatures are going to make a child's life a living hell." Dr. Evan's predictions broke in the Weekly World News [July 21, 1992]. I thought we learned our lessons from Fleishman and Pons on cold fusion. Oh, well! Let's get on with release before publication bashing. WWN also carried the blind sheep and at-risk rabbit stories that the Veep candidate mouthed as true. On the acne front, the news notes, "Every teenager in the world will be faced with their worst nightmare. In the coming years, their faces will be covered with "hundreds of zits." And "there won't be a thing they can do about it because it'll be caused by the Greenhouse Effect, or global warming." "By the year 2000, nine out of 10 youths will have such severe acne that they'll be embarrassed to go out in public."

Dr. Evan extrapolates from the dermatological principle -- "It is a known fact that hot and humid conditions cause the skin to be more susceptible to acne." As a graduate student I roomed with a dermatologist-to-be and he was fond of saying the first principle of dermatology was -- "If it is wet, dry it and if it is dry, wet it!" Well, it looks like the dermatologist’s office will be full with supplicants in search of drying cream prescriptions!

The-blame-it-on-the-greenhouse-effect cottage industry is strong and growing. We all need to remember that sticking a Dr. in front of a release to the press doesn't make a scientific pontifications true nor should it merit groveling supplicants, politicians or otherwise!

Just google it! Weekly World News. See what our youth are up to in the classroom.


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